The Messy Middle Isn’t a Pause—It’s Preparation for What’s Next
If you’re in a season where something feels off—but you can’t fully explain why, and you definitely can’t cleanly map out what’s next—you’re probably in what I like to call the “messy middle.”
A lot of women find themselves here. They know something is shifting. They can feel it in their work, their leadership, their content, their relationships, their energy. But because they can’t fully articulate the next chapter yet, they assume they’re confused, behind, or doing something wrong.
I don’t see it that way.
When something feels like it’s shifting—but you can’t fully articulate what’s next—that’s not confusion. That’s awareness. And awareness is usually the beginning of evolution.
I recently chatted with Taylor Smith on The Power Table podcast about messy action in the midst of uncertainty. Listen below and keep reading for more—I also love speaking on this topic to groups of bold women building businesses!
THE BIGGEST LIE WE’VE BEEN SOLD ABOUT THE IN-BETWEEN
I think one of the biggest lies we’ve been sold about the in-between is that it’s a waiting room. Like we’re supposed to sit quietly until clarity arrives. Like if we just stay still long enough, the answer will show up fully formed as a perfect little package on our doorstep.
That’s not how this works.
The middle isn’t a pause. It’s a preparation.
It’s not dead space. It’s not proof that nothing is happening. It’s a season where your awareness is getting sharper, your tolerance is changing, and your next chapter is starting to take shape before you have language for all of it. The problem is, a lot of people treat that season like a delay instead of what it actually is: preparation for what’s next.
ADULTHOOD (and leadership) IS GRAYSCALE
Part of why this season messes with people so much is because we were raised on right and wrong, black and white, correct answer versus incorrect answer. We were trained to want certainty. To want the clean explanation. To want the step-by-step plan before we move.
But adulthood doesn’t work like that. Leadership definitely doesn’t work like that. Personal brand growthsure as hell doesn’t work like that.
The real stuff—the identity shifts, the recalibrations, the knowing that something has to change before you can fully name what it’s changing into—that all lives in grayscale.
That’s why people panic in the middle. Not because something is necessarily wrong, but because they’re being asked to function without the comfort of a perfectly packaged answer. They’re being asked to trust what they’re noticing before they can fully explain it. And that can feel uncomfortable as hell when most of your life has rewarded certainty.
YOU’RE NOT STUCK—YOU’RE REFINING
This is the reframe I want more people to grab onto:
The middle is not about figuring everything out.It’s about refining.
It’s about auditing:
What feels heavy right now?
What feels energizing—even if it scares you?
What roles or identities feel tight?
What am I tolerating that no longer fits?
That is the work.
Not forcing a five-year plan. Not trying to invent a brand-new life in one sitting. Not demanding instant certainty from a season that is trying to hand you better data. You don’t need the five-year plan. You need honest data. And honest data usually comes from paying attention to what your life, work, leadership, and body have already been trying to tell you.
Sometimes the Middle Hurts Because You’re Shedding a Version of Yourself That Used to Work
This is the part people do not say out loud enough: sometimes the middle feels uncomfortable because you’re shedding a version of yourself that worked.
It got you here. But it might not take you there.
That’s why this season can feel so emotionally messy. You’re not always grieving something obviously broken. Sometimes you’re outgrowing something effective. Something that made sense. Something that maybe even looked successful from the outside.
But success and fit are not always the same thing. And if you keep clinging to a version of yourself just because it worked once, you’ll end up staying loyal to an old chapter long after it stopped being honest.
Trust me when I say,
STOP WAITING FOR THE PERFECT PIVOT
I’ve never been a huge fan of the word pivot, if I’m being honest. It always sounds so dramatic. Like you need to blow up your whole life, become a new person overnight, and have a polished reinvention package ready by next Tuesday.
That’s not how most real growth works.
I believe there’s more power in evolution. In moving forward with the foundational pieces that still fit and dropping what doesn’t serve you anymore. In letting the next version of your work, leadership, or identity get clearer as you move instead of demanding that it arrive fully formed before you take a single step.
Because in my experience, clarity didn’t come before I moved. It came because I moved.
The messy middle has shown up in my life more than once—after losing a business, after divorce, after personal shifts, and even in stepping more publicly into speaking. And every single time, the clarity did not arrive first. It came through motion. Through action. Through choices. Through getting honest and moving anyway.
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s this: Clarity is built through motion.
IT’S ALL ABOUT MOMENTUM (NOT CERTAINTY)
If you’re in that season right now, don’t focus on the perfect pivot. Focus on the next aligned step.
Not the forever plan. Not the giant leap. Not the beautifully packaged reinvention story. The next step.
Because you are always one choice away—not from certainty, but from momentum.
That’s the shift. A lot of people think the goal is certainty. I don’t think it is. I think the goal is momentum. The goal is to stop waiting for enough clarity to guarantee comfort and start making moves that create more information. That’s how the middle starts to loosen its grip—not when you finally overthink your way into the perfect answer, but when you start moving with what you know now.
A SIMPLE FRAMEWORK: REFLECT, RELEASE, REACH
When you’re in the middle, I think there are three things you should be doing: reflect, release, and reach.
Reflect—what has this season taught me?
Release—what am I outgrowing?
Reach—what small step can I take toward alignment?
Not a leap. A step.
That framework matters because it gives you something grounded to do with the discomfort. It turns uncertainty into information. It reminds you that the middle is not proof you should freeze. It’s proof you need to pay attention.
THE MESSY MIDDLE ISN’T SOMETHING TO ESCAPE
It’s something to engage with.
That doesn’t mean you stay there forever. It means you stop treating uncertainty like proof that you should shrink, numb out, or go silent. Uncertainty isn’t a sign to shrink—it’s an invitation to evolve.
And in the end, that’s what this season is really asking of you. Not perfection. Not instant clarity. Not a five-step master plan. Just honesty. Awareness. Motion.
Because it’s not about what happened that got you here. It’s about what you do next.
And if you’re in a room, on a stage, in a leadership role, or building a brand while trying to navigate that tension in real time, this is exactly the kind of conversation I care about having more of. Not the fluffy version. Not the highlight-reel version. The real one—the one that helps people move.